Peace and Quiet: HA!!!

Vox turned out to be more exclusive than I like. Here's the (I hope) last move site:

http://bluesoupchef.blogspot.com

This blog host (blog.com) has been posing a few probs for me and my pals (you guys). The new place is below. See you there!!!



http://firefly376.vox.com/

p.s. I still have to fix the new place up so please bear with me.

BJ

Hi world! I gave up on the new blog site since it won't let me in (even though I paid for it). Boo Clearblogs!

It's very hot here but sunny and for once, no rain.  Not much new is going on, except am starting to get antsy about the visit to the cute doc on July 2. No solid food at all the day before, and there is all that fun stuff that goes along with it.

Next time, I am lying to that @#$% gp doc!  He also gave me an anti-zit cream that burned my skin. You should see my face today, world. It actually looks scary.

Took Friday off because I needed sleep. Even today, slept tons (as in 15 hours). Was woken up by The Most Spoiled Cat In The Universe chomping on my fingertips. MAN is that effective as a wake-up technique. Little brat.

Mom is fine, Sis is fine. Everyone's all excited about the upcoming nuptials. Well, I'm not there yet. But will be. Love the two of them.   Am more excited about the gardening, which is supposed to start Tuesday night.

OK off to visit. Have a great weekend!

Thanks Vic!

Folks, look out for that last one.

1. Losing all your friends
>
>                  Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
>                  He shoots his friend and kills him.
>                  Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL
>                  your friends.'
>
>                  2. Brother wanted
>
>                  A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,'send me a brother'....
>                  Santa wrote back, 'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'....
>
>                  3. Meaning of WIFE
>
>                  Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means
>                  'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'
>                  Wife replies, 'No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'
>
>                  4. Importance of a period
>
>                  Teacher: 'Do you know the importance of a period?'
>                  Kid: 'Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my
>                  mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran
>                  away.'
>
>                  5. Confident vs. confidential
>
>
>                  A young boy asks his Dad, 'What is the difference between
>                  confident and confidential? '
>                  Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your
>                  friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!
>                  '?
>
>                  6. Anger management?
>
>                  Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back.
>                  How do you control your anger?'
>                  Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
>                  Husband: 'How does that help?'
>                  Wife: 'I use your toothbrush .'

Thanks Peter M, this explains a lot.

DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING!

Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?

Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?

Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.

Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

Remember these people can vote, which probably explains the current situation in Washington, D.C.

Thanks Vic, this is an eyeful!

From Peter M, and I fear that this one is true.....

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.  Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse.  Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a disturbance in our store and forced us to ban both of you from the premisses. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15th:  Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2nd:  Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at  5-minute intervals.

3. July 7th:  Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19th:  Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, code 3 in houseware! get on it immediately.
             
5. August 4th: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14th:  Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15th:   Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23rd:  When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4th:  Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10th:  While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
       
11. October 3rd:  Darted around the store suspiciously while  loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
      
12. October 6th:  In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
      
13. October 18th:  Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
       
14. October 21st:  When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
 
And last, but not least.
 
15. October 23rd:  Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then, yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
       
Regards,
Tom Richards
Wal-Mart Manager

And more from Peter T

When I say I'm broke, I'm broke
 
Yesterday I answered a knock on the door, only to be confronted by a
well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner..
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes
of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in
high-powered vacuum cleaners.'

'Go away!' I said 'I haven't got any money! I'm broke!' and
proceeded to close the door.

Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed
wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said 'not until you have at least
seen my demonstration'.

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet.

'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure
from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'

I stepped back and said 'Well I hope you've got a fucking good
appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of
broke do you not understand?'

Well world, this was a better day but am still reeling a bit.

The pal doc who had my results first didn't tell me about them until I asked, and then he only gave me on troublesome result (the sugar one) and not another one. So am not all too impressed by this and am beginning to question why I bother asking that he be provided copies of the tests in the first place. But he's busy with moving...still, if the situation had been reversed, I don't think that I would have made the same decision that he did.

So it isn't diabetes, it's impaired fasting glucose. That can LEAD to diabetes, but with my blood pressure (good) and cholesterol (good) we aren't there yet.

There was, however, ANOTHER issue...high uric/ureic acid levels. In my blood. This can cause gout or kidneystones (the latter have appeared in a sibling or two). The doc wasn't going to worry about it unless I had foot and hand pain. Which I have! Usually when it's going to rain. Thought that this was arthritis----and get this-----it can cause arthritis pain! Have been operated on (big toe) for arthritis as a result of a very active aerobics lifestyle in the 80s. High impact dance aerobics stuff. But the pain's spread to the ankle and knee. That's the way that this progresses, said the doc.

So what causes this stuff? A range of things, including meds that I take (diuretics and low dose asprin) AND good high fibre foods (oatmeal, beans, lentils, spinach, cauliflower among others). Nice. This is the stuff that the heart people say to eat!

There's a medicine (allopurin) that can control this, and he asked me to think about if I'd want to take it.

Am taking a witch's brew of meds now, but didn't see anything wrong with it/its side effects. So why not add one more? He's got a list of all my meds, knows the interaction possibilities (am NOT stopping low dose asprin). Am going back in a month but sheesh...am wondering about the wisdom of that!

Man once you hit 40, degeneration starts. By 50, it's roaring downhill!

BJ

Blog.com is working on the not being able to comment thing.....

For lovers or haters of bureaucracy everywhere from Vic:

A Department of Water representative stopped at a farm and talked with
an Old farmer. He told the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm for your
Water allocation.'

The old farmer said, 'OK, but don't go
in that field over there.'
 
The Water representative said, 'Mister, I have the authority of the
Federal Government with me. See this card? This card means I am allowed
to go WHEREVER I WANT on ANY agricultural land. No questions asked or
answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'
 
The old farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores.
 
Later, the Old farmer heard loud screams and saw the Water Rep running
for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull.
The bull was gaining on the Water Rep. with every step. The Rep was
clearly terrified, so the old farmer immediately threw down his tools,
ran to the fence and shouted out.....
 
'Your card!.. Your card!... Show him your card!